Approval

I want to invite you to open you bibles with me to Galatians chapter 1 We’re in a series called, “Pursuing Carrots.” The endless chase for more. And We’re examining, things in our life that we chase that do not bring us closer to God. Carrots are the things in our life that we chase and just when we think we’re gong to get it, its just out of our reach again, and we just keep pursuing these carrots that brings us no satisfaction.

And What we recognize is this: Life is full of endless lures. All around us are lures the world puts in our way or in front of us to say, come get this, go get that. And these lures lead us in these meaningless attempts to waste our time, money, resources, and even happiness. These things that we pursue never satisfy us, but we tend to fall for the carrot on a stick and chase after them, and sometimes we never realize how fruitless or vain our attempts are at trying to get that next thing.

Thus far we’ve heard about he carrot of Fame, Money and possessions and seeking the carrot of perfection. Today, I want to examine the carrot of seeking approval. Let’s begin by reading our Scripture. Galatians chapter 1. Galatians chapter 1… and look with me to verse 10. "10 Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Heavenly Father, guide our hearts to find our uttermost satisfaction in you, and in you alone.

How many of you might care too much about what others think? I know I do.. and I dunno about you, but even being honest in this moment I can sense even in my own heart, that I am worrying about what you thought about me caring to much about what you think. And what I’ve been learning about the approval carrot, is that it can very easily become an addiction.

Think about this, We all have a deep need to be liked, respected, admired and approved of. Everyone of us. And in our quest for this recognition, we often behave in a certain way to impress others and to win their appreciation, we even go as far as telling lies to gain the approval from others. Because when it comes to the feeling of rejection, I think we’re all willing to stretch the truth about our life so that we can make sure that we fit in.

We’ve seen this pattern emerge since birth. For instance, when it comes to pleasing others, and seeking acceptance, Many people-pleasers have grown up in environments where love and acceptance were conditional upon their ability to conform to other peoples expectations of them. I can remember when I was younger, around 10-12 years old, I used to go to work with my mom at the Jackson mill restaurant, and while she was waitressing there, I would walk across the street to the 4-H grounds and go over to the cattle barns in the fall and watch all the cows at the local cattle shows, and I recognized, that if I was kind, and hard working, and gave others respect, they would say kind things about me to my mother when they came over for a meal at the restaurant.

Ultimately, there was a desire for this external approval that I craved. It goes a lot deeper but there was this desperation for approval, and I became addicted to finding ways to find external approval from others. Author Harriet Braiker writes in her book “The disease to please,” that people-pleasing is a form of addiction. She writes, Just like a drug addict seeks drugs, people pleasers seek approval. So, theres a problem…

when this addiction of seeking approval settles into our life, and it becomes an ingrained habit, it opens up this avenue to live our life in fear and anxiety. And what we do is that we try to validate our lives through the approval we get from others. And heres three problem areas of those who seek approval from others… First, theres the obsession about what others think. Think of all the ways we obsess about what others think about us….

Do they like this outfit? Would they like my choice of music. What about how I live? Do they like my car and my home? What about social status? Do I fit in with them? Do I dress like them. Do I like what they like, and if I like something different, would they still accept me for me? Or willing to need to hide my true feelings about this kind of music.

What about our bodies? Would they like my hair if I did something different? Do I look fat in this outfit? I always cringe over this one because I struggle with that one. Now think about this. How much does the opinion of others influence what you do and what you say? And if something says something against or different what you believe, are you willing to hide or conceal it to fit in?

This moves us into the second issue with seeking approval and people pleasing. Another problem area for people pleasers is that People pleasers are often overly sensitive to criticism. Maybe you get some negative feedback from your boss, and now you want to quit. I’ve been there. I’ll never forget one of my reviews in the lab when we lived in Colorado and my boss brought me in for my yearly review and I know I worked more hours than anyone, I volunteered more than anyone to come into work, and made myself available to be a team player.

And in my review I felt I was going to get exceeded expectation. With that, you get a better raise. I had a family to support, Gabe was just a year old, Alicia was pregnant with Chloe, and I’m called into my managers office and she tells me all the things she loves about may work ethic and being a team player, and she’s so glad I was there and have made such great advances in growing as an employee, and the only negative remark she gave me was this…

that I was an over zealous worker. I was too gun ho about my job. I was too positive. And for that, instead of exceeding expectations, I got met expectations. That one negative remark made me feel like that all of my work, and sacrifice was worthless. Its amazing to me how we can get 100 positive encouragements from others, and compliments, but just one negative remark is the one that we tend to focus on.

This one criticism stems from a fear of being rejected. Thats the trap of this carrot of approval… thats the snare. That is how the carrot works… if 100% of people do not agree, like, love, approve… then I am a failure. I must have complete 100% approval from every one or else I’m a failure and I feel rejected. And Because we are overly sensitive to criticism… we tend avoid it.

We run from it or shut down or hide. And heres the thing.. Because we don’t want to listen to feedback from others, I believe we miss opportunities to grow and improve. The third problem area is this. Do you have an issue with saying no? This goes back to what other think of me… what would they say if I just said no. I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings…

so I end up buying whatever someone is selling. We do this why, because we want people to like us. I think we have a hard time saying no because we seek affirmation, and acceptance. There are time where I dread saying yes, but at the same time I feel powerless when it comes to saying no. Everyday, in life, there are these endless errands, and demands from everything that demands from me to make a decision of either yes or no.

No one likes maybe. Ask any kid… can we go get ice cream.. maybe… that’s not an answer…. We want to know, is it a yes or no. Can you relate? I mean, think about seeking to be loved by others. Will they love me if I say no. If you really think about it, God says no to us all the time… does that mean God doesn’t love us? We know thats not true…

God is love, and sometimes, love is saying no to things that might not be good for us. Or even things that leads us into exhaustion. If this is you… having an issue saying no, being over sensitive to criticism, and obsessing what other people think… you might have the disease to please. Gods words says this in Proverbs 29, “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” It’s a snare.

Fearing what other people think is a snare… do you know what a snare does? It traps. THat’s it purpose. Theres one commentary that says, that this verse means that it not only traps, but it’s like a ring in the nose and it leads. That its why you see rings in the noses of bulls. It’s a way to control the bull. This trap of fearing men… seeking the approval of others…

is like a hook through your nose leading you around. And although it may seem like a carrot.. its not, its actually a trap designed to lead you. But not just a Physical trap or an emotional trap.. but it’s also a Spiritual trap as well. Let’s look at what Paul said too us in our Scripture, "Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?

Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Paul here is addressing the people of Galatia who were deserting the gospel message of grace by faith alone, and not looking to our works to save us. They were leaving the truth about the gospel that Paul had left for them, and while he was gone, these false preachers were teaching doctrine contrary to what Paul had taught them.

Its a theme that we see repeated all throughout the book of Galatians. But here, this verse presents a choice. And the two choices you have comes from this one question, “who do you serve?” Theres a distinction between, living for the approval of others and living for the approval of God. Paul says here in the ending of verse 10, If I was trying to please others then I would not be a servant of Jesus.

Paul was showing you and me, that in this life of faith we have a choice. The choice is either pleasing others, or God. And in my opinion, we can choose to live as either servants or slaves. We either desire to serve God, or become slaves to the opinions of others. And I know, its a hard choice. Lets just be honest about it. Our whole life, even before Christ busted into the hardness of our heart and began to warm it with His grace, we lived for the approval of others.

Its totally easy to live today, tomorrow, and the next day and the next day constantly thinking about what others think of us, how others perceive us, try to gain a good standing with others. Following this carrot thinking that one day, we’ll get it.. like a hampseter on a wheel, thinking we’re going somewhere, and yet, never really getting anywhere. And heres the thing… Do we want to please people…

serve people, or do we want to serve God? That’s a hard question.. Are we not called to serve God and others????? we are!! It’s not that when we please God and we serve Jesus that we don’t care about others. We love others as ourselves. And we serve others. We lay down our lives for others. The Bible is very clear about calling us to do things in relationship to others, but its never for their approval.

Our love and service for others shouldn’t be so that they would like us, or approve us. We should never serve others so that they will think well of us. We serve others, because our approval and love is because we want to please God. But heres the truth of the choice we make that I mentioned earlier… When we seek the approval of others, over the approval of God, its a form of idolatry.

People pleasing is a form of idolatry… Idolatry is the worship, love, adoration of something other than the true God. When you love what others think about you more than what God thinks about you, it is Idolatry. Its self seeking. And think about this, why do Christians put more weight on the words of others and not on the words of God? I’ve been hurt by others and their words.

But I’ve also noticed that often times, I put more emphasis and stock into the words of what others say about me and think about me, than I do what Gods word says about me… We need two understand that BECOMING OBSESSED WITH WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOUISTHE FASTEST WAY TO FORGET ABOUT WHAT GOD THINKS ABOUT YOU. It’s true.. It’s like we take our eyes off of God, and we seek approval from others around us..

and often times.. they are not always very nice in what they say to us. God word says, Gods words says, I am Beloved. “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved” (Ephesians 2:4-5). I’ve been told that I was messy, and dysfunctional, but Gods word says, I am a masterpiece.

“For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10). I’ve been told that I wasn’t a part of peoples life but God’s word says, I am chosen, and holy “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight” (Ephesians 1:4). I’ve been told that people wold never forgive, me, but gods words says, I am forgiven.

“In him, Meaning Christ Jesus, we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace” (Ephesians 1:7). God’s words tells us that we are a new Creation. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17). A find his word says, I am redeemed ”For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins” (Colossians 1:13-14).

There are times when I begin to feel down about myself.. or I begin to listen to what others say about me, and I’ll pull out my phone and open the Bible app and begin reading what God says about me.. I posted it on Facebook but a friend of mine taught me this… when I get overwhelmed by life… I like to do this.. I will take a deep breath and say, I am ok.

I am strong I am worthy I am loved And I love Jesus and he loves me. I am replacing lies with truth. Remember I said, that people pleasing and seeking approval isn’t just about an emotional issue, but a spiritual issue. The enemy of your soul wants nothing more than to ruin your identity in Christ. And the enemy will pull the same tactics the world pulls.. he will try to get your to believe things that are untrue about who you are in Christ.

Jesus went through the same issue. Did you know, the enemy did the same thing to Jesus that he does to us. Think about the baptism of Jesus. Turn with me to Luke chapter 3… and watch this.. Luke says in verse 22, And a voice came from heaven saying, You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased. Jesus is affirmed by the Father and given an identity.

You are my son, and I am please with you. Now, is Jesus going to seek to please there Father or the people? We see all throughout the scriptures that Jesus’s aim was to please the father. But think about how this is a Spiritual battle. Right after this happens in Luke chapter 3, Luke does what? Luke then gives the lineage of Jesus pointing to David, and Abraham and all the way to the first man, Adam.

Then the Holy Spirit leads him where? To the wilderness for the temptations. As soon as God affirms him, he goes out into the wilderness to be tested. And we know the three temptations of Jesus, but have you ever noticed that twice, the enemy tested Jesus identity in the father and belief of what the Father said to Jesus at his baptism? Look in chapter 4, and at verse 3…

The devil said to him, if you are the son of God. The enemy goes after his identity in the father. And he does it again in verse 9… if you are the son of GOd. Jesus was tempted to take his eyes off of what His father says about him, and believe the one who lies and aims to steel kill and Destry him. And if the Spiritual battle wasn’t bad enough, Jesus then goes home to Nazareth and is rejected.

Ask d what we learn is this, When you love what others think about you more than what God thinks and says about you, it’s Idolatry.b You’re making it about you. But when you learn and know what God says about you, it sets you free from the disease to please. And so, the choice is yours.. You have to decide what is more important today. God’s approval or man’s approval?

I want to challenge you to open your heart and talk with God. I challenge you to come and talk with God at the altar today… you know they say, the alter is where you get altered.. but its more than just that, its also a place where our hearts can surrender. I want to challenge you to leave behind the fear of what others think, and come embrace God’s approval.

Think about all the things that seeking the approval of others has done to you… Most often, wondering what other people think about us, keeps us from coming too the altar in fear of what they might think of us. In the past, how many times have you felt Gods presence tugging on your heart to go pray, but you were afraid of what others may think. What about raising your hands in Worhsip…

have you ever been in a moment of Worhsip and felt if you raised your hand, that others might think weird things of you??? Some of you have been worrying about what others think of you in Worhsip and you’ve struggled with surrender. Let’s stand, together. When you come to the altar, You are coming to talk to a God who loves you. He accepts you. He approves of you. Your worth isn’t based on what people think about you.

Your worth is based on what God thinks about you. Embrace it… receive it… believe it. And then walk in it.. Trust me,.. you cant please everyone, but you can please God. And because of Christ and what He did on the cross, you are approved of God. *